I recently read and shared on the Living Life Retired Facebook page the July 19, 2018 post, “What Boomers Should Do With All Their Stuff” by Richard Eisenberg. Richard interviewed Laura H. Gilbert regarding her ‘legacy based’ approach to getting rid of our stuff.
“The main thing I’m trying to emphasize is embracing my life today and preserving a few stories I want to leave for the kids, about the values that are important to me — and not leaving a mess. It’s about embracing the best of me.”
This article really spoke to me and the large downsizing projects I have throughout my home. I started with a stack of three moving boxes of my daughter’s school assignments and projects which I have kept for at least 30 years. As I carefully removed each piece of paper carefully preserved in these boxes, memories came flooding back of my sweet daughter as a child. Crayon scribblings, ribbons of glitter and yarn, beautiful abstract acrylic paintings, little handwritten books by my favorite young author and illustrator, and even some art featuring beans and macaroni. All touched by my daughter as early as age three.
How can a mother get rid of all of these wonderful memories? What will happen to these treasures after I die?
I thoroughly enjoyed reading through my daughter’s silly stories of her friends and cats and dogs. I even shed a few tears of joy and of days gone by when I opened the Mother’s Day and Valentine’s Day cards my daughter handmade for me over the years. But it was time to part with the vast amount of paper I have kept. I was pretty sure my daughter would probably just throw away the whole box if I kept it until I died. So I reduced the amount of treasures from three boxes to one. I kept the most special crayon and glitter “stuff” and of course the memories.
“It’s not so much about getting rid of stuff; downsizing and decluttering is an outcome. My focus is embracing the things you want to leave behind.”
Have you downsized any of your children’s treasures? How did it go?
As a single parent, I was so often overwhelmed that keeping the drawings, etc. never entered my mind -the more I read about what kids go through when their parents die and they have to deal with households full of stuff, the better I feel about not keeping those things – and I am eagerly trying to downsize the rest of what I own – giving to my daughters what they want and giving the rest away – it’s not easy but I really do not need a lot of stuff – and I know from experience that kids don’t want our stuff – at least not much of it
Marguerite, you did it right! Good for you for “trying to downsize;” it’s not easy. I have a little sign on my bookshelf that says, “The best things in life aren’t things.” It sounds like you would agree. I hope I too can keep going and get rid of the “stuff.”
It’s good to know we aren’t expected to be so unsentimental that we have to throw it all out. It’s fun to trigger the memories, at least it is for me. And your daughter will have as much fun remembering her young self when she goes through your “treasures” after you’re gone. I suppose the trick is to save only that which truly sparkles.
John, you are so right that the trick was “to save only that which truly sparkles.” It took me several hours to go through each of the three boxes. I savored every crayon mark, glued macaroni, or piece of yarn. My daughter wrote many stories over the years and I have not yet finished reading them all. She was a very creative and prolific writer. Those days are now gone but may someday be resurrected. It’s very hard to let all of the memories go, but even harder to let your children separate and grow away from us. It’s difficult going from being so involved in their young life to very little involvement when they become an adult. They say a good parent works themselves out of a job. I guess I’m retired from teaching full time and parenting full time.