First Tattoo
I sat in a white chair that resembled a dental chair at Picosa Ink. A friend was with me as I was about to get my first tattoo one month before my 65th birthday, July 2024. I modified a design I found so it spelled out the names of my three grandchildren with a heart between each name. Topped off with two hearts symbolizing their two birthstone colors, garnet and sapphire. The tattoo symbolized my precious grandchildren and the tremendous love I have for them entering into my crazy 65th year.
Overseas Solo Travel
Being estranged from one’s only child created a lonely situation I never thought I would experience. On a crazy whim to help with the healing process, I booked my first solo overseas trip to the south of France called Provence. Smithsonian Journeys was the trip organizer. I spent 21 days living and traveling throughout Provence last fall. It was a life long dream to travel to this area of France. I had been to Paris but this was really special due to it being a more rural area. The adventure lived up to my expectations and certainly eased some of my personal heartbreak.
Read more: My crazy 65th yearGuardianship of my Mom
Once back from my trip, I took on the crazy task of applying for guardianship of my 91-year-old mother. Several issues kept me from doing so sooner. One, she asked her employer years ago to be her durable power of attorney. Second, I didn’t live in the same state she did. Third, most of my six siblings did not support my decision to seek guardianship. And, fourth, I did not know how much it would cost.
I plunged head on with my crazy decision anyway by first petitioning the court for guardianship upon which they requested I obtain an attorney to represent my mother. After making almost a dozen calls and being turned down just as many times, I was able to secure legal representation for my mom. Mom agreed to have me become her guardian. Because I would be paying for her attorney, I decided to forego one to represent me due to the expense.
After all the legal dealings, nasty notes from siblings and a court hearing by zoom, I lost my attempt to become my mom’s guardian. I felt I let her down as well as my dad who had asked me before his passing to “take care of mom.”
Home in Iowa
So now what? What if I bought a home in Iowa that I could fix up? One I could stay in for weeks at a time and spend more time with my mom during her final years? Crazy, right?
I put a contract on a home in Newton, Iowa sight unseen except for the pictures on the internet and a late night visit by my realtor. Just before closing on the house I drove to Iowa to see the house and to visit my mom. The house needed a lot of work but that was why I could afford it.
Mom and I had a good day together at her nursing home during my visit. She had lived there for 5-1/2 years. A nursing home is not a place I would want my worst enemy to live.
Days later I visited her again. It was obvious to me she had taken a turn for the worse. I let my siblings know and then I spent many hours with her over the next three days while she lay in her hospital bed without a word of conversation. I played beautiful instrumental hymns on my phone to drown out her roommate’s television. Mom stopped eating except for a little pudding and applesauce I hand fed to her. I read cards she had received over the years which I found in her nightstand. I read to her from the Bible, 1 Peter, Chapters 1-3. The verses were about God’s promise of hope and a life after death with God. She had a strong faith.
My 91-year-old mother of seven children, 11 grandchildren and 11 great-grandchildren died on February 4th. I was on my way back to Colorado that day after closing on the house in Newton in the morning. Now, I had a house in Iowa but my mom was no longer there to visit. Just crazy.
Obituary
I have long believed everyone should have a free obituary in the local newspaper because every soul matters, but my mom did not want an obituary or a funeral. So, I began gathering information and writing an obituary to honor mom. Again, some of my siblings did not agree with my decision. I did it anyway. Glad I could bring honor to my mom and the memories we all had with her. I do not regret my decision.
Bathroom Remodel
My crazy dream of a black and white bathroom came to fruition during my 65th year. During the previous year, I gathered the materials I needed to create my European inspired bathroom. While volunteering at the Habitat for Humanity ReStore, I found a $70 dresser I restored into a bathroom vanity. A friend of mine who is a gifted contractor put all the gather bathroom materials together for me and created a work of art. I love it!
Attempted Firing
One of the craziest things that happened during my 65th year was one of my family members tried to get me fired from my substitute teaching position. He emailed the principal on two separate occasions and I was literally “called in to the principal’s office.” Nothing came of the emails because the school saw no need for concern.
Social Security Windfall
Checking my online banking account in May of this year, I noticed a large deposit from Social Security (SS). It was the “backpay” amount I would have received if it wasn’t withheld due to me having a state pension fund. As a public school teacher, I and the district, paid into the state fund and not SS during my tenure. However, I worked for almost 20 years and contributed to SS before becoming a teacher. When I turned 65 I applied for SS but I was penalized and would not receive my full SS benefit.
Well, as of January 1 of this year, those of us who had enough SS credits but were penalized because of also having a state pension fund, would no longer be penalized and would receive this “backpay.” We would also receive the full SS retirement amount we were entitled to going forward. What a crazy good surprise!
Iowa House Remodel
That brings me full circle to July 2025, where I am now sitting at a table in the Newton, Iowa public library writing this post. I don’t have Internet at my home here, nor do I have cable tv, a working refrigerator or a stove. I buy ice every two days for my Coleman cooler to keep a few things cold. My one burner holds the tea pot I use every morning for tea. I did finally splurge and by a cheap $65 microwave at Walmart for an occasional frozen dinner.
My days have been full of scraping, power washing, priming and painting the exterior of the house, demolishing and rebuilding the large deck, putting up blinds, cleaning and painting the interior walls, removing kitchen cabinets and the non-working stove, mowing the large lawn, pulling weeds, taking things to the landfill, donating items to the thrift stores, buying materials, working with contractors, and trying not to go crazy. Or, should I say not to go crazier.
During my 65th year, I drove a crazy eleven hours one way to Iowa from Colorado three times and back again with my cat in tow. I was blessed to be in Iowa with my mom during her last days and more recently to scatter her ashes among the wild flowers on the farm where we all grew up. Spending time with several family members was also a real treat. I even attended my first Indy Car race at the Iowa Speedway during my last Iowa visit.
Luckily, I will be 66 years old soon and I can hopefully put an end to this crazy stage in my life soon.
By the way, I’m headed to another solo overseas trip this fall…Machu Picchu and the Galapagos Islands. That’s not crazy, is it?
