Forever and ever, amen
by Valerie McCullough, Loveland Reporter-Herald
January 31, 2017
“He braked for cats.
In 1955, when I rode in his black, Fairlane Ford on wet, dark, hilly Berkeley streets, Bill swerved and lurched the car when yellow/green cat eyes darted across city streets.
And this was before seat belts.
Every Sunday evening, he gave a ride across town to a black musician. These were years when such things were not done–when minds and municipalities were still segregated.
After our wedding, Bill worked so I could finish college.
Who could not love a man with such a generous soul?
This generosity remained with him until death.
As readers know, Bill’s health declined rapidly over the last months. We shuttled between hospitals and rehab facilities–between an unrealistic optimism and hard reality.
Until his last day, he worried about me and our daughters. Were we OK? Did we have a good sleep? Were the roads too snowy for driving?
On Wednesday, January 24, he returned home from Poudre Valley Hospital to our home. Hospice provided a hospital bed, but I wanted to sleep next to him in our own bed once more.
Even with help from hospice, Bill struggled over the next 24 hours. He tried to speak to us, but we couldn’t make out his words. Gurgling in his throat increased.
We continued morphine and other medicines during the night.
Thursday morning, hospice suggested medication every hour. By 2 p.m., his pulse was irregular and his breathing labored. I could hardly stand to watch him struggle.
During the previous two days, our daughters and I sat by him, telling him we loved him, would miss him and that it was OK for him to leave.
Still, he hung on to the life he loved so much. Breath by breath.
Finally, I told him–once again–that I loved him–that I would miss him–but that I would be OK after he left for Heaven.
I kissed him and went into the kitchen.
“Let’s leave Dad alone for a few minutes,” I said.
Five minutes later, daughter Kathy went into the bedroom for one last goodbye.
This generous, loving man was gone.
For the next two hours, we sat on the bed with him. We shared aloud memories with him.
We laughed and cried.
Somehow, I think he heard us.
Amen.”
Retired psychologist Valerie McCullough has lived in Loveland since 1964 with her husband, Bill, who died Thursday, January 25th. She writes a blog on the Reporter-Herald website. She welcomes readers to share their own experiences or feedback on her column at val@frii.com or by responding to her blog.
Reprinted by permission.