Tonight, I begin my training to become a CASA volunteer. What’s CASA? It stands for Court Appointed Special Advocates. I have been searching for a meaningful way to make a difference after retiring from teaching and I believe this opportunity is a great fit for me. I’m excited.
According to the promotional brochure, “The Court Appointed Special Advocates program recruits, trains, and supports volunteers to advocate for children who have been victims of abuse or neglect. CASA volunteers are appointed by judges to represent the best interest of the children. Volunteers visit with the children weekly, gather information from family members, medical professionals, teachers and therapists, and then make recommendations to the court regarding services for and placement of the children.”
In the process of becoming a CASA volunteer, I attended orientation, filled out an application with references, been interviewed, observed court proceedings and had my background checked. Starting tonight, I will complete about 30 hours of training (in person and online). If all goes well I will be sworn in May 29th as a new Larimer County CASA volunteer, but more importantly I can once again make a difference for kids.
If you want to get involved in Larimer County CASA or find out more about it, go to www.casalarimer.com.
Seeing everyone wearing the latest style of dark plastic eyeglasses made me ask myself when was the last time I had my eyes checked? The answer was over five years ago. So I made an appointment with my optometrist, Dr. Douglas Kiefer and it turned out my prescription had changed and I needed new glasses.
According to the Mayo Clinic, “In general, if you are healthy and you have no symptoms of vision problems, have your eyes checked on this schedule:
My new eyeglasses!
Every five to 10 years in your 20s and 30s
Every two to four years from 40 to 54
Every one to three years from 55 to 64
Every one to two years after age 65
Have your eyes checked more often if you:
Wear glasses or contact lenses
Have a family history of eye disease or loss of vision
Have a chronic disease that puts you at greater risk of eye disease, such as diabetes
Take medications that have serious eye side effects.”
I have worn glasses since the fourth grade and I’m 59 so I should have my eyes examined every year or two.
During the exam your doctor may perform several tests:
eye muscle test
visual acuity test
refraction assessment
visual field test (perimetry)
color vision testing
slit-lamp examination
retinal examination
screening for glaucoma
“Each test during an eye exam evaluates a different aspect of your vision or eye health. An eye exam helps detect eye problems at their earliest stage — when they’re most treatable. Regular eye exams give your eye care professional a chance to help you correct or adapt to vision changes and provide you with tips on caring for your eyes.” These tests are not expensive given the amount of beneficial information you receive about your overall health.
My eye exam cost $114 without vision insurance. EyeCare America offers seniors free eye exams to qualifying individuals.
So, what are you waiting for? When was the last time you had your eyes checked?
I recently read and shared on the Living Life Retired Facebook page the July 19, 2018 post, “What Boomers Should Do With All Their Stuff” by Richard Eisenberg. Richard interviewed Laura H. Gilbert regarding her ‘legacy based’ approach to getting rid of our stuff.
“The main thing I’m trying to emphasize is embracing my life today and preserving a few stories I want to leave for the kids, about the values that are important to me — and not leaving a mess. It’s about embracing the best of me.”
This article really spoke to me and the large downsizing projects I have throughout my home. I started with a stack of three moving boxes of my daughter’s school assignments and projects which I have kept for at least 30 years. As I carefully removed each piece of paper carefully preserved in these boxes, memories came flooding back of my sweet daughter as a child. Crayon scribblings, ribbons of glitter and yarn, beautiful abstract acrylic paintings, little handwritten books by my favorite young author and illustrator, and even some art featuring beans and macaroni. All touched by my daughter as early as age three.
I let go of the pile on the left and kept the small pile on the right.
How can a mother get rid of all of these wonderful memories? What will happen to these treasures after I die?
I thoroughly enjoyed reading through my daughter’s silly stories of her friends and cats and dogs. I even shed a few tears of joy and of days gone by when I opened the Mother’s Day and Valentine’s Day cards my daughter handmade for me over the years. But it was time to part with the vast amount of paper I have kept. I was pretty sure my daughter would probably just throw away the whole box if I kept it until I died. So I reduced the amount of treasures from three boxes to one. I kept the most special crayon and glitter “stuff” and of course the memories.
These art pieces which lasted nearly 30 years are now only a memory.
“It’s not so much about getting rid of stuff; downsizing and decluttering is an outcome. My focus is embracing the things you want to leave behind.”
Have you downsized any of your children’s treasures? How did it go?
In the past two years I have been slowly trying to gain my Mother’s trust. She is 85-years-old, lives alone and is pretty independent, also known as stubborn. Our relationship has been very rocky over my nearly 60 years, even estranged at times. I have put these past transgressions on both of our parts behind me to try to help care for my Mom in her final years even though I live over 800 miles away.
I just finished reading an informative book by Dr. Dennis McCullough, My Mother, Your Mother – Embracing ‘Slow Medicine,’ The Compassionate Approach to Caring for Your Aging Loved Ones. These are some important takeaway quotes from the well-written book:
“Slow Medicine for elders in late life enacts the ancient Tibetan wisdom of ‘making haste slowly,’ that is, focusing on the central issues of human caring with patience and a sense of shared humanity, forgiving one another for what cannot be changed, bending flexibly at times of need, and holding firmly to shared values and loyalties at other times. Slow Medicine is a commitment to understand, to support, to heal, and to care for those weakest among us in a way we would want to be cared for ourselves.”
“Over my many years of medical practice, I have identified five fundamental principles that should guide families, health professionals, caregivers, and other caring people in their efforts to enrich and support an elder’s life to the end.
We must endeavor to understand our parents and other elders deeply, in all their personal complexity, acknowledging both the losses and the newly revealed strengths that come with aging.
We must accept the need for interdependence, while at the same time promoting mutual trust.
We must learn to communicate well and with patience.
We need to make a covenant for steadfast advocacy.
We must maintain an attitude of kindness no matter what.
The most important consideration underlying all my assumptions about what constitutes good late-life care is the need for kindness. Although some families and caregivers may actually rise to extended enactments of love (or simply loyalty, decency, respect, and gratitude), kindness is the single most reliable ethical and practical guide to doing this work well.”
In the book’s Epilogue Dr. MCCullough continues, “Slow Medicine is just this caring process of slowing down, being patient, coordinating care, and remaining faithful to the end. Families necessarily bear the greatest responsibility in surmounting difficulties to create this bond of trust and security for their loved ones. Over and over, families must identify and ask for what they and their parents need, seeking links to caring professionals who also want to do the right thing, but are often constrained by organizational, institutional, and cultural health care practices that are not fully serving our elders and us…yet.”
I believe in this practical Slow Medicine approach and I highly recommend My Mother, Your Mother. I have been applying this approach to my Mom’s care, as well as with family communication difficulties. “We must maintain an attitude of kindness no matter what.”
It was 7:42 a.m. on December 5th when I messaged one of my former high school students asking, “What happened? Connor was one of my favorite students. I will never forget him!” Liv wrote back, “Connor actually got into a really serious car accident on Sunday, and was taken to the hospital. Shortly after arriving, he was declared brain dead. Fortunately, however, he was a registered organ donor, so he was able to save the lives of four other people last night, which is really a miracle. We are all heartbroken.”
Connor – Giver of Life Through Donation
I read the article about the car accident in the Greeley Tribune but it did not give the name of the driver. I checked the newspaper every day after learning of Connor’s fate to find out if and when services would be held. Thankfully there was a wonderful obituary posted on the funeral home’s website. Services would be held on Monday, December 10th for the 22-year-old. There was no question I would attend because he was one of my favorite students; he always had a smile and always tried to bring one to everyone else. He had a big heart.
I entered St. Mary Catholic Church for Connor’s mass and was ushered up front past hundreds of mourners already seated. There wasn’t an empty seat in this large church. Seated across and only a couple of rows back, I could easily see the family and the pain they were experiencing. They weren’t the only ones with a steady flow of tears.
Throughout the eulogy, delivered by a family member I think, maybe an uncle, but written by Connor’s parents, many of us wept. Matthew told insightful, loving family memories about Connor “doing things his way” from the minute he was born. He also told us Connor was an organ donor as Liv had mentioned in her message, but it was five people in all that he helped. A silver lining!
Since he died from head injuries, Connor’s major organs were intact and healthy. His lungs, heart, kidneys, and liver were successfully transplanted and will live on in others. In his final gesture of “doing things his way” he brought a smile to others. I’m sure these unselfish gifts brought his family some solace after the accident. We all lost a wonderful friend and family member on December 3rd, but the organ recipients gained a future of hope and life.
“Connor had a big heart and made the courageous decision to be an organ and tissue donor. He will live on through the lives of the five organ recipients.” –From his obituary
It was typically a cold, dark winter’s night when my mom would bring out the movie projector to bring us some much-needed entertainment. You see my mom was an amateur filmmaker back in the early 1960’s and my siblings and I were often the stars. We loved watching the old 8mm films of us dancing, being silly and playing games while growing up. It was wonderful entertainment, especially when we also got to eat popcorn while watching.
photo by slc
On my recent visit with my mom, she gave me her precious “first films.” She kept them in a shoe box high up in a kitchen cupboard. Years ago she told us she destroyed them after her divorce with dad in 1996. Last spring, much to my amazement, she told me she still had them. Now, I possessed her film reels. I could not wait to tell my siblings about this incredible gift, but she told me I couldn’t.
Within days, I ordered a Legacybox to digitize the films. I ordered a box to hold all 20 of the films. Mailing and processing of 20 films was expensive but I used the RUSH promotion, for Rush Limbaugh, and saved $200. A few days later I received an empty Legacybox in the mail. My heart rate went up; excited at the prospect of seeing these films again after forty plus years.
First Films, Photo by slc
First, I sorted the films chronologically as my mom hand wrote in the dates on many of them: “Steve’s 2 year – 1st Year at Toddville,” “Christmas ’67 at Toddville,” “Art Tour ’72,” and “St. Louis Arch ’74.” Others my mom labeled: “First Films,” “Wedding,” “Halloween Party,” and “Bulldozer.”
Ready for Shipping, Photo by slc
Next, I applied the Legacybox barcodes to the movie reels. The barcodes used to track the order. The company also sent a return shipping label to place directly on top of the original shipping label on the mailing box. It was an easy process but I was still nervous. Was I really going to mail these precious old films to a company in Tennessee? What if I never saw them again?
With the film reels packed in Ziploc bags and protected by plastic inflatable packaging, on October 29 I took my box of treasures to the UPS store. In return I was giving a Drop-Off Package Receipt. Now, I just had to anxiously wait.
On November 13, I received an email from Legacybox. The original films and their new digitized format had shipped. Again, my heart rate soared.
Digitized home movies, Photo by slc
Today, they arrived. I hurriedly opened the box which contained my mom’s films and the CD’s I ordered. I put the first CD in the player and then watched about three hours of home movies from nearly 60 years ago. There on the television screen in my living room I relived my first birthday, my first steps, family vacations, and Christmases. I also saw film of my grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, siblings, and my father who passed away almost six years ago. Mixed in with family was also video of pigs and flowers as I grew up on Iowa farms.
It was surreal to watch these films again and it will take a while for it all to sink in. The films included everyone in my family except for my mom who actually shot the film. Now, the hard decision. How do I not tell my family I have her “first films?”
Have you used Legacybox? If so, please leave a comment about your experience.
Note: Legacybox currently has a 60% off discount for a limited time. (Author is not receiving compensation from Legacybox for this blog post.)
