My first CASA anniversary

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CASA
Front of My CASA T-Shirt, Photo by slc

A year ago May, I was sworn in as a Court Appointed Special Advocate (CASA). In June of 2019, I received my first abuse and neglect case so this is my first CASA anniversary. That case is still active and may be for several more months. This extraordinary experience has given me the first chance to have an impact on the lives of young people, besides my grandchildren, since retiring from full time teaching in 2015.

CASA
Postcard from CASA Case Supervisor

The CASA program has always been on my volunteer work radar. Any news report of abuse and neglect of young people over the years has always shaken me up. One in particular was the case of Douglas and Leah Dyer that occurred in 2013.

Their daughter, 7-years-old and weighing just 37 pounds, couldn’t walk or talk when she was found “living” at home. One headline read, “‘Basically torture‘: Child abuse case causes outrage.” I still drive by that home a couple of times a month and that case still haunts me. That little girl touched my heart and soul. In 2016, a childrenshealthcare.org newsletter reported she was “walking, attending special education classes, and starting to speak in sentences through an electronic communication device.” But “she will require a lifetime of specialized care.” Her parents were found guilty of child abuse and sentenced to 15 years in 2017.

This week while researching the Dyer case, I discovered that the original caseworker in the case was also the original caseworker on my case. She is a dedicated professional who represented these cases with grace and genuine care for the young people affected by the abuse. The staff in the CASA office, which trained me, supports and guides me along the way. They are committed to being a voice for these young people. I have never worked with a more professional and caring group of individuals.

Strolling with a CASA child, Photo by slc

So what do I do as a CASA? The Larimer County brochure says, “We are a voice in court for abused and neglected children and a safe place in the community for conflict-free interactions.” But in reality I play, sing, skip, read books, run, listen, smile a lot, stroll, write reports to caseworkers, attorneys and the judge, talk with foster parents, research, find resources, attend meetings and court, advocate, advocate, and advocate. It takes dedication but I look forward to seeing my CASA kids every week and report how they are progressing. It is very rewarding “work.”

If you want to know how you can become a CASA volunteer, a Friend of CASA, or support CASA monetarily, check out the National CASA website. In Larimer County go to casalarimer.com.

85 days of hope

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On June 4th I had my first video chat with my 86-year-old Mom.  She spoke with me while seated in her Broda chair with the assistant director of nursing by her side holding the video device.  Even though she was tired, we talked for about 30 minutes.  This chat may seem ordinary to you, but to me it was nearly a miracle.  Mom and I had not spoken since March 11th, not for 85 days.  It was 85 days of hope.

hope

As the middle child of seven kids, I was used to fighting to be heard.  This time, I fought long and hard to have this precious 30 minutes with Mom.  I started this fight to talk with my Mom on April 11th when I made three phone calls to speak with her at the nursing home where she resides. Each time I was told she was either sleeping or someone else was using the mobile phone.  I was told to call back later. 

On April 25th I tried calling again.  This time I was told that speaking to residents via the mobile phone was no longer allowed due to the potential spread of the COVID-19 virus within the facility.  The staff member comforted me though with the promise of a video chat that following week.  Patiently, I waited for the call but with each passing day I became more anxious without any word.  Through news reports, I heard there were 15 positive test results among residents and staff and two deaths at Mom’s small long term care facility of only about 34 residents.   I prayed and I had hope I would get to talk with Mom soon.

On May 5th I had a large bouquet of flowers delivered to my Mom for Mother’s Day along with a card.  I wanted Mom to know that I had not forgotten her.  The day after Mother’s Day I emailed the center’s staff asking if they would please send a photo of Mom with the flowers I sent.  I wanted to be sure she received them.  Two days later, I received an email reply saying they needed written permission from Mom’s power of attorney (POA) for me to have a photograph.  I asked if they could get that permission for me since I lived 825 miles away.  She did not respond to my request.  By now, there were 22 residents and staff with positive test results and three deaths at Mom’s facility.  Mom’s tests had come back negative, which was a relief. I kept praying.

On May 15th one of my sisters briefly visited the center and called to have a window visit with Mom.  She was wheeled into position but she seemed upset and she made no eye contact with my sister.  Mom’s appearance was disheveled and she appeared to have lost weight.  Now, I was upset and even more anxious. Now was not the time to lose hope.

That same day, May 15th, I emailed Mom’s POA asking for their written permission to communicate with Mom via video and to have a photo of Mom with her flowers.  I did not receive a reply.

I knew from prior research that Mom and other residents had access and visitation rights through the Nursing Home Reform Act of 1987. She didn’t need a POA’s written permission to speak with her children but no one asked her so the fight began along with more prayers.

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“When a habit begins to cost money, it’s called a hobby”

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During this time of stay-at-home orders, many of us are looking for a hobby to occupy our time. Retirement also offers us this same opportunity. However, as this Jewish Proverb professes, these hobbies can cost money.

Last fall I began food dehydration as a hobby. You see I don’t particularly care to eat fruit or vegetables. Growing up on a farm which raised beef cows, hogs, and chickens, and we planted a large garden, we always ate fresh, healthy food. No fast food or junk food. I quite often shelled peas I picked or pulled carrots out of the ground and cleaned just before dinner.

banana chips
Banana chips, Photo by slc

Now I eat more fast food or junk food than I probably should. Drying fruit gives me a healthy snack I can enjoy while watching tv, kind of like eating potato chips. Making and eating dried fruit has become a habit, or should I say a hobby, since it does cost money?

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Staying connected

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I have always been a big fan of Shel Silverstein’s poetry and drawings. They were great little quips to add to my tutoring sessions years ago with middle school students and I even used them once on a bulletin board in my high school classroom. My favorite Shel Silverstein book is Where the Sidewalk Ends.

During this time of social isolation and stay at home orders, staying connected is even more important than it was before. Since my three young grandchildren are staying home from school and community activities I decided to pull out some of my favorite books and share a couple of pages with them every day through snail mail. Kids especially love to receive snail mail. They think it’s pretty cool and it is something for them to look forward to.

You remember snail mail. That’s the kind that takes a couple of days to send/receive. It includes an envelope, a stamp and a return address. Oh, and a bit of moisture for closure.

How to Stay Connected Through Snail Mail

We all have old envelopes around. I have boxes of them. Even the kind you used to mail your check for the house payment works. I add pictures and jokes on the back of the envelope to dress it up and make it more fun.

Then find short stories, color pages, scavenger hunts, or poems to put in them. If they are old enough to read, write them a letter telling about some of your old memories of school, etc. I add math problems or words for my grandkids for practice since I am a teacher. Today, I cut one of the poems into four pieces to make it into a simple puzzle.

As long as you don’t put in more than three sheets of paper, one stamp will be enough on the envelope. You may even want to mail some stamps to your grandchildren so they can send you pictures or write a letter back to you. What a fun way to stay connected. Share how you are staying connected below.

“There is a place where the sidewalk ends and before the street begins, and there the grass grows soft and white, and there the sun burns crimson bright, and there the moon-bird rests from his flight to cool in the peppermint wind.”

–Shel Silverstein

“Worry is like a rocking chair…

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it will give you something to do but it won’t get you anywhere.” The tile of this post is the same as the title of Chapter 8 in the insightful book I am reading. This year, one of my personal growth goals is to work on becoming more content and worry less. I came across the book Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow, ordered it and began reading.

This morning I read Chapter 8 about worry and anxiety. In it Dillow explains, “When we worry, we’re saying, ‘God can’t.'” In these trying times of social isolation and worry about our jobs, our families, and our bank accounts, we could all use a bit of Dillow’s wisdom. She provides an example in her book of a “visual aid” that helped her deal with worry and anxiety:

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Where are your old family photos?

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old negatives
Photo taken at antique store by slc

My daughter and I enjoyed shopping together in antique stores when she was younger. Once she saw some vintage family photos in a booth and said she thought it was sad the photos weren’t with the family they belonged to. She wanted to find the families and return their photos to them. Lofty goal for a young girl. Vintage family photos, slides and negatives are valuable but only to the family they belong to. Where are your old family photos?

old family photos and negatives
Old family photos and negatives found in Mom’s shed. Photo by slc

In May, I found hundreds of priceless old family photos and negatives from the early 1900’s in my Mom’s shed. Some of the envelopes have tiny teeth marks left by the shed’s inhabitants. With Mom’s blessing, I took them home and couldn’t wait to see what images would appear.

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Just a simple haircut or is it?

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simple haircut

How often do you get your hair cut? When I’m not growing my hair out, I get mine cut every six weeks. Simple right? Well, it’s not if you are in a nursing home under someone else’s care (or should I say thumb).

I have called the nursing home where my Mom is living out her final days every six weeks or so since June to set up a simple haircut appointment. I speak with Mary and I’ve been told she would set up the appointment for the following Friday.

However, I visited my Mom in November and she had not had her hair cut in months. I could not believe it. My Mom’s care is self-pay until her money runs out. She definitely has $20 for a simple haircut so what’s the problem you ask?

It seems Mom’s non-family member power of attorney doesn’t think she needs a haircut and won’t authorize it or use her money to pay for it. So, I sent a check for $20 on November 12th to the nursing home with a nice card asking them to schedule an appointment at their earliest convenience. Afterall, it’s just a simple haircut.

It’s now January 2020 and I checked my bank account the other day to see if the check I sent had been cashed. It had not. So I emailed the nursing home to inquire about the check and the haircut. They replied that their stylist had quit and the replacement was sick throughout December. Since they now have a new stylist my Mom will finally get her hair cut this Friday the 10th. Six months after I thought I scheduled Mom’s first haircut. A haircut is not so simple after all.