Today, is the seventh anniversary of my Dad’s passing. It seems like yesterday.
My Dad was an avid Iowa State Cyclone fan and today is the Big 12 championship football game. My siblings and I will cheer them on from Oregon, Colorado, Kansas, and parts of Iowa. We will also be joined by our Dad in heaven. Here’s to you Dad and your Cyclones today! We love you and miss you!
The following is the eulogy I wrote to honor my Dad and delivered at his funeral:
Good morning.
I am Sherry, one of Jerry’s girls. Most people can still pick each one of us out of a crowd. In fact that happened again Friday as I walked across the parking lot at Brogan’s.
I’d like to start by saying that we’d all like to thank you for braving this cold, snowy day to honor our father, grandfather and great-grandfather.
I brought with me today a most precious gift Dad made for each of us many years ago. It is a wooden plant stand fashioned out of the wood from cedar trees that once stood behind the house at the farm. He cut these trees down and took them to a neighbor’s sawmill and cut them into the wood planks he would use to create this work of art.
The plant stand is significant not only because it was a precious gift, but also because I believe it symbolizes our Dad.
This plant stand has a broad, sturdy base or foundation. Dad grew up knowing hard work and family values. He was a pillar of strength to many. His parents, his brothers and sisters, his daughters and son, his neighbors, his friends, and his grandchildren. He was always willing to help.
I remember one snowy day much like this one when I was young, but one with much more snow. The wind was blowing snow over the road at the top of our hill and it created a huge snow drift. We were inside the warm farmhouse watching television as a lone car approached, not knowing the drift was impassible. The driver would bury his car in the drift and Dad would go out in the wind and cold (and most of you know how much he hated the cold). He would start up the tractor and pull out the car so the traveler could be on their way. He would never accept any money for his help. That was just what you should do. Help people. Be a strong and sturdy base.
In these past few months of his battle with cancer, Dad showed incredible strength by planning and deciding his own living arrangements and his final arrangements. He didn’t leave much for us to do. Maybe it was because he didn’t want to see us fight about anything or maybe because he just wanted to help us or remove that burden from us. Or maybe both.
The single leg of the plant stand symbolizes our Dad’s tall, slender stature. No matter how much our Dad ate he would never gain weight. In fact, this summer when I visited with him on the phone on his 80th birthday, I asked him the question, “If you could be any age right now, what would it be?” He surprised me by saying 40. He said he wanted to be 40 again because that’s when he was in the best shape of his life and because work was easier for him then because of it. Dad was always in great shape. He was an athlete and gave his love of sports to all of us, including the grandchildren.
The top of this plant stand is a little out of proportion with the rest of the stand. It is a little rough around the edges and could use some fine tuning here and there. Dad too was a little rough around the edges. He was stubborn and outspoken. He had a temper. You never had to guess what he was thinking because he would tell you. Isn’t that right Steve?
But like this plant stand made of soft cedar wood, Dad had a soft and smooth side to him too. In the pictures many of you saw in the slide show yesterday, Dad was gently holding his young children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. He loved to dance with any willing, or unwilling, partner.
In the last 10-15 years he hugged us and affirmed his love to each of us. Something he didn’t do when we were young. Dad also had a soft side at times with farming. I remember him once commenting that it was hard for him to see an animal killed for butchering. An animal he had nurtured and that grew strong just for that purpose.
While this plant stand is a bit of a legacy left by Dad, an even bigger legacy is sitting in front of you…his family. Dad’s family is strong, tall in stature, and a little rough around the edges, but we also have a soft, caring component too.
When I visited Dad in October and I showed him some pictures of my new baby grandson Dylan, I asked Dad if he had any advice to give to his three great-grandchildren.
I had caught him off guard. He was speechless. After a few moments he answered…”Work hard and be good.”
I would like to leave you with these words that I also believe Dad would have said if he had the words. They are from 1 Thessalonians 4, Verses 11-12: “Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands…, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.”
Again, thank you for helping us honor our Dad today.